Bioenergetic Analyst   Relational Life Couples Therapist Carol L. Melnick BSc, MSW, RSW, CBT
© 2014-2016 Carol L. Melnick. All rights reserved.                                             Website by Verity Graphics
Bioenergetic Analyst   Relational Life Couples Therapist Carol L. Melnick BSc, MSW, RSW, CBT
Being a couple requires regular attention.  Relationships need nurturing and development.

Assessing Developmental Stages of Relationship

A. Choice of Partner: attraction, romance, falling in love, idealization, expectations B.  Phases of relationship:  hopes, satisfactions and disillusionment, resolution

Understanding Interactional Patterns in Couples

A. Pattern of interaction:  productive and supportive vs unproductive and dissatisfying       How to identify unproductive interactional patterns: i) Is this how you usually argue?; What is upsetting about it?; What is the real issue?;  Why is this important?;  What feelings does it evoke? ii) How are these hurtful interactions similar to your family of origin?       How to shift hurtful interactional patterns: i)    Do you know your partner's needs and fears?  Do you know why he/she reacts this  way?               Understand your partner's needs, fears, and reactions.  ii)   When you respond in your usual way you get a reaction that you don't want.  Can you do  it differently?      Help each partner to find ways of “doing it differently” in the here and now.       Iii)    How can each partner express their needs and fears more directly.

Identifying Individual Concerns Affecting the Relationship

A.  How have you each learned to cope with difficulties or trauma:  anxiety, depression,     addictions,  compulsive behaviour, anger, sexualizing, illness...?  Help each partner to identify, manage and  find new coping strategies.  Some of these ways of coping may need individual support & attention.

Promoting Relational and Individual Growth

A.  Common issues to be worked out in every relationship:        a) Equity; fairness, equal sharing of responsibility        b) Closeness and distance; pursuing and distancing patterns        c) Power; control; one-up, one-down; vs. vulnerability and equality        d)  Flexibility; negotiation, compromise   B.   “Becoming oneself” within and outside the relationship:           a) Mutual support and freedom to be oneself           b)  Freeing oneself from past roles, scripts, and patterns
Love is prizing the other for whom she/he is.                        Reference:  Dr. Arnold DeGraaff
© 2014-2016 Carol L. Melnick. All rights reserved.   Website by  Verity Graphics
Bioenergetic Analyst   Relational Life Couples Therapist
Assessing Developmental Stages of Relationship       A. Choice of Partner: attraction, romance, falling   in  love, idealization, expectations      B.  Phases of relationship:  hopes, satisfactions and disillusionment, resolution

Understanding Interactional Patterns in Couples

      A. Pattern of interaction:  productive and

supportive vs unproductive and dissatisfying

  How to identify unproductive interactional

patterns:

     a) Is this how you usually argue?; What is upsetting

about it?; What is the real issue?;  Why is this

important?;  What feelings does it evoke?

    b)  How are these hurtful interactions similar to

your family of origin?

            How to shift hurtful interactional patterns:     a)  Do you know your partner's needs and fears?    Do you know why he/she reacts this  way?                Understand your partner's needs, fears, and reactions.    b)  When you respond in your usual way you get a reaction that you don't want.  Can you do  it differently?     Help each partner to find ways of “doing it differently” in the here and now.        c)  How can each partner express their needs and           fears more directly.

Identifying Individual Concerns Affecting the

Relationship

A.  How have you each learned to cope with difficulties or trauma:  anxiety, depression,     addictions,  compulsive behaviour, anger, sexualizing, illness...?   Help each partner to identify, manage and  find new coping strategies.  Some of these ways of coping may need individual support & attention.

Promoting Relational and Individual Growth

A.  Common issues to be worked out in every

relationship:

a) Equity; fairness, equal sharing of responsibility b) Closeness and distance; pursuing and    distancing patterns     c) Power; control; one-up, one-down; vs. vulnerability and equality d)  Flexibility; negotiation, compromise B.   “Becoming oneself” within and outside the    relationship: a) Mutual support and freedom to be oneself b)  Freeing oneself from past roles, scripts, and patterns 
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